The Three Questions of Decision Making
Part 7
There are three questions to ask before making a decision. They are:
1) Do I have all the facts? [Reason]
2) Is it right? [Conscience]
3) Do I really want it? [Will]
By remembering to ask these three simple questions, we can make wiser decisions. If you can ask YES to each question, you know that you are making the right decision. But if the answer to any of these questions is NO, then the wisest answer is probably no.
Sometimes WILL is called HEART'S DESIRE. It might be easier to remember the steps in the decision making process if you associate those words with your decision making process.
With your student, spend some time thinking of decisions that children (or teens) make on a frequent basis. Start by making a list of decisions. Then, together go through the decision making process using the questions above. Remind the student that if there is a conflict, then the decision response should be NO. Discuss why.
Here are some decision making situations to help you and your child get started:
1) Buy the new computer game that all my friends are talking about.
2) Wait to feed my pets until afternoon.
3) Talk back to my piano teacher because I think she is too strict about how long I need to practice.
Continue practicing until you are confident that your child/teen has a clear understanding of how to apply these principles. Review daily if necessary.
Remember, CONFLICT between the three questions related to REASON, CONSCIENCE, and WILL/HEART'S DESIRE is a RED FLAG in the decision making process. CONSENSUS is necessary when making a decision that is wise.
https://www.onlythebible.com/Bible-Gems/King-Will-and-three-judges.html
Reason's Role in Decision Making
Lesson 6
Throughout these lessons, we have learned that teaching children about decision making is a process. Helping them learn the steps in making good decision assists them in the process of making wise decisions throughout their lifetime. Having a decision making road map is a tool that valuable resource for them. Today's lesson teaches about the role that REASON has in decision making.
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Talking Points:
My WILL has another helper called REASON. My REASON is the special gift that God gave to me so that I am able to THINK THINGS THROUGH before my WILL decides whether I WILL or I WILL NOT do something.
My REASON uses FACTS. It weighs EVIDENCE. It tries to put all the pieces together like a picture puzzle and to MAKE SENSE out of everything.
Your brain works in the same way to make wise decisions. Your WILL has a helper called REASON. REASON uses FACTS and weighs EVIDENCE. It is what helps you MAKE SENSE out of everything.
Here is an example of how it works:
FACT: I know that it isn't any fun at all to be sick or to have problems with my teeth.
FACT: Besides being uncomfortable, going to a doctor or dentist costs a lot of money. This money could be spent on other things like clothes, toys, or interesting books. If I take good care of my teeth that money could be spent on these things.
FACT: I know that eating lots of junk food can cause some serious problems with my general health, including my teeth.
FACT: I know that there are some snacks that taste good and are also good for me. God has created lots of different kinds of fruits, nuts, seeds, and vegetables that are delicious! They are much better for my health and teeth than junk food snacks.
My REASON weighs the evidence and then answers the question:
Does it MAKE SENSE to eat a lot of junk food just because it tastes good? This part of decision making relies upon the INTELLECT.
When DECISION MAKING, WILL and CONSCIENCE play a role along with REASON.
My CONSCIENCE tells me whether it thinks it would be RIGHT or WRONG.
Even with REASON and CONSCIENCE, my WILL is still free to decide I WILL or I WILL NOT eat the junk food. If WILL does not ignore REASON and CONSCIENCE it will make a good choice. But, WILL can ignore its two helpers and make poor choices.
God created every person with the freedom to make CHOICES about how they will live their lives. Do you like being so FREE? This God-given freedom allows each human being to decide what they will do when it comes to making any decision.
Doesn't it make sense to keep WILL, CONSCIENCE, and REASON together in agreement?
What is My Will?
Part 3
The will has a very strong influence upon any decision that a person makes. Your will is your WISH, your DESIRE, what you WANT, your DETERMINATION. Think of it as a very tiny fish. Think about feeding that tiny fish and spending time with it. After awhile, the tiny "wish" fish becomes a bigger and bigger "want" fish. If you keep on feeding it by thinking about it more and more, eventually it will become a WHALE size DETERMINATION! So, it is important that we choose carefully about which "wish fish" we feed and which ones we choose to leave alone. Even the smallest "wish fish" can grow into whale size determination. It is very important for us to realize which wish fish are safe to feed and which ones could grow up into dangerous desires.
Here are some questions to think about. What makes a wish grow into a want, and finally into determination? In other words, what does the fish food represent?
Some of our "wish" fish need to be fed. For example: "Mom looks so tired. I wish I could help her." What other "wish" fish thoughts can you think of that should be fed?
Some of our "wish" fish need to be starved! For example: "I wish I could get even! I am so mad and I'd surely like to show them who's best!" What other examples of "wish" fish can you think of that should be starved?
In the Bible, there are stories about people who showed great determination to do right. Daniel and his three friends are a good example of young people who used their "will" to make right choices. Instead of choosing the unhealthy food that the king provided, they asked for fruits, vegetables, grains, and legumes. To the royal court, these were considered plain food, more fit for paupers than anyone in the king's household. But Daniel and his friends used their wills to help them stay strong and make choices according to what they believed was right. They ended up being healthier and stronger than all the other young men in the king's care. Their superior health and performance was a natural result or consequence of taking care of their bodies by good nutrition, rest, exercise, water, and sunshine. They discovered that by following God's natural laws they reaped great benefits because God's laws make sense. This experience helped them to realize that God doesn't say things like "you better take care of your bodies or I will be angry with you". Instead they learned that God says things like "please take care of your bodies, or they won't work as well for you as they could." God doesn't impose His will on us, forcing it to become our will. Instead, he loves us and gently shows us the best way. He gives us the power of choice. We can use our will in any way we choose. But by making wise decisions about how we will use our will, we can reap results as good as those experienced by Daniel and his three friends.
There are other stories that you can read about in the Bible that show of WHALE SIZE determination to do right! You can read some of these stories here (click on link):
The Fiery Furnace
The Lion's Den
Good Kings Joash and Josiah
In Psalm 40:8 it says "I delight to do thy will, O my God. . .your law is within my heart." Why will I enjoy following God's advice for me? The "law in my heart" means that I agree with God. In the highest sense of freedom available to anyone, I choose to do what He asks because I understand that it is the best for me. It makes sense to do it. Why would I want to choose any other way?
The Bible also says, in Philippians 4:8, that "Whatsoever things are true and honorable and right. . .think of things." This verse of scripture is suggesting some good "wish fish" that we should feed. How can this verse help you decide which are the good fish that are safe to feed?
My WILL is the part of me that DECIDES "I will" or "I will not". Our determination to do or have something usually starts with a wish that grows when we feed it by spending time thinking about it.
In or next lesson we will learn about determination.
Learning about Decisions
Part 2
Lesson for children:
What decisions have YOU made today?
Do you think that any of them were important?
Were some of them easy choices?
Were any of them difficult to make? Which ones?
Why are some decisions more difficult to make than others?
All of us make decisions every day. We decide when to get up, what to wear, what to eat, where to go, what to do, and how we will respond to the words and actions of others.
Some decisions may affect us for no more than a few seconds or minutes. The consequences of other choices may be felt for the rest of our lives. Often the decisions we make have an impact upon the lives of others too.
If we will take the time to discover how to make better choices and wiser decisions, we can enjoy more satisfying lives. By making wiser choices we can be better people. Those around us who share the consequences of our decisions may also benefit greatly.
In the future, will be spending some time learning about how decisions are made. You will get to know your WILL, your REASON, your CONSCIENCE, and your MOODS. You will discover how they all interact when you make decisions. And you will learn which ones sometimes get in the way of making the wisest choices.
Let's go through a list of decisions that you make during your lifetime and talk about them. Then let's decide these things:
1) Which decisions would affect you for just a few seconds or minutes?
2) Which ones could have lifetime consequences? What are they?
3) Which ones could affect the lives of other people too? In what ways?
Here's the list of decisions we will be talking about:
A) to buckle your seat belt or not
B) to spend all your money or to save some
C) to play fair or to cheat
D) to eat nutritious food or junk food
E) to take care of your things or to neglect them
F) to do your best or to do only enough to get by
G) to put yourself first or to consider the rights of others
H) to watch lots of TV or to read and play active games
I) to do your share or to leave the job for someone else
J) to experiment with harmful substances like alcohol, drugs, and tobacco or to leave them alone
K) to pick friends who are a positive influence or to choose friends who are wild and don't follow the rules
L) to do your homework or to think of only having fun
M) to make fun of others or to consider their feelings
By examining how you answered these questions, analyze yourself and decide if you make wise or sad choices. Discuss how you perceive your ability to make wise decisions with your mom or dad.
