Success & Peer Groups

“I can't think of one great human being in the arts, or in history generally, who conformed, who succeeded, as educational experts tell us children must succeed, with his peer group...If a child in their classrooms does not succeed with his peer group, then it would seem to many that both child and teacher have failed. Have they? If we ever, God forbid, manage to make each child succeed with his peer group, we will produce a race of bland and faceless nonentities, and all poetry and mystery will vanish from the face of the earth.”

― Madeleine L'Engle, A Circle of Quiet

Kids are Copycats

When a family decides to home educate, one of the first questions other people ask is, "what about socialization"?  Our culture assumes that children must spend daily time with peers in order to develop social aptitudes and skills.  Although a homeschool family instinctively knows that daily peer interaction isn't a necessity in developing social skills, it is sometimes difficult to know how to respond to this question.  Dr. Raymond Moore, the grandfather of homeschooling in America, authored many books and gave many seminars on home education.  He spoke confidently about the positive socialization of homeschooled children.  His premise was that children are more properly socialized by responsible adults who model mature behavior than by immature peers who are still developing their responses to the individuals around them.  Having a well-thought out response can help the homeschool parent deal with questions of socialization confidently and easily.  Sometimes all it helps to remind extended family and other curious adults that your children have appropriate peer interaction at church, music lessons, 4H, by participation in community service projects, and  involvement youth group like Pathfinders, Awana, and Scouts.  These are situations that can be guided by adults who can be alert to bullying, immature behavior, and thoughtlessness.  It is also helpful to have facts and figures from research on the tip of your tongue, so you can reassure others that your children really will turn out to be socially balanced young people and adults, even though they are homeschooled.  In fact, research shows that homeschooled children can have superior socialization because of it!  According to one study, children taught at home by their parents do not lag in social development when compared with those of the same age who attend conventional schools.  The behavior and social development test scores of children traditionally schooled and homeschooled showed that children taught at home by their parents have consistently fewer behavioral problems.  The findings also revealed that a child's social development depends more upon adult contact and less on contact with other children.  This conclusions affirms what Dr. Moore taught about socialization.  The study also suggested that children taught at home behaved better because they tended to imitate their parents [Kids Stuff, 93].  Isn't it reassuring to have research facts to back up what most parents instinctively realize about socialization of their children?        

Moore on Home Education

One of my favorite books on the subject of home education is Home Grown Kids, written by the grandfather of homeschooling in America, Dr. Raymond Moore.  In it he shares a way of thinking that was radical when he wrote the book thirty-some years ago!  Homeschooling, now considered a "right", was a "privilege" that was hard earned in its early stages.  He encouraged parents to embrace the right and responsibility of homeschooling.  Here's a quote from his book that reinforces this concept.

"No schoolroom can match the simplicity and power of the home in providing three-dimensional, firsthand education. The school, not the home, is the substitute, and its highest function is to complement the family. The family is still the social base, and must be, if our society is to survive. Let's leave no stone unturned to guarantee the fullest freedom of the home and the rights of parents to determine the education of their children."

Dr. Raymond Moore
Home Grown Kids page 26

More Time with Parents than Peers

Homeschool parents are probably asked about socialization more than any other topic related to educating their children.  Our culture has led us to believe that children need to be around peers in order to have good social skills, and that this process needs to start at a very young age.  Daycare centers and preschools are filled to capacity with children whose parents believe they are doing what is best for their kids.  So, when a family chooses to home educate, well-meaning grandparents, neighbors, and even strangers question their decision.  But, if we consider the second point given in the Smithsonian Institute study on raising genius children, we realize that cultural beliefs are not necessarily accurate.  The Smithsonian study found that the children who developed the highest quotient of intelligence were those who were virtually isolated from children outside of their family.  If children spend more time with their parents than with their peers, positive socialization takes place.  When a family works together, plays together, studies together, and serves others together, children tend to have fewer mental or emotional problems and are more likely to be free of peer dependency.  A study reported in Kid’s Stuff magazine found that children taught at home do not lag in social development.  The study indicated that home taught children have consistently fewer behavioral problems.  Instead of being negatively socialized by their peers, the children who were home educated depended more upon adult contact and less with contacts with other children, resulting in well-adjusted and well-behaved children.  Why?  Because they tended to imitate their parents.  Imagine that!  Not only do children who spend more time with adults than peers have the opportunity to have a higher IQ, but they are more socially adjusted as well.

Applying Your Homeschool Philosophy

An educational philosophy is important for your home school. If you have a home school philosophy that is specific to your family it helps to keep your goals and strategies in focus. The grandfather of home schooling, Dr. Raymond Moore, recommends that each family have a philosophy written and prepared as the basis of establishing a curriculum for each family that home schools. A successful family philosophy focuses HIGHLY upon the formula that Dr. Moore presents (Smithsonian formula) on creating a genius.

The Smithsonian Institution’s study of twenty world-class geniuses stresses three factors: 

1) warm, loving, educationally responsive parents and other adults;
2) scant association outside the family, and
3) a great deal of creative freedom under parental guidance to explore their ideas.

Peer pressure works to tell us that we must socialize our children by having them spend time with other kids. But, studies have shown that the greatest socialization takes place within the family structure and by association with other adults. It is perfectly okay for children to spend all week with their parents, associating with other children only weekly at church. As children reached the upper elementary grades, they frequently start asking for opportunities to spend with other children. At that point, teaming with other friends to start a ‘home school activity group’ that meets semi-monthly and provides structured field trips for a group of local, home school children can be provided. This frequently fills the ‘need’ of children to associate with others their age. Piano and other group lessons can also help meet this need. The structured environment continues to facilitate learning and prevents an opportunity for negative socialization.

A great deal of freedom to explore is important. In order to create creative children, time and resources to work with are essential. So is the ability for mother or father to put up with a mess! A separate space for learning can be helpful in containing materials for this type of exploration. Paper, glue, paste, scissors, computer printers, cameras, film, paint, glitter, etc. and etc. are much more important than coloring books and paint by numbers. A supply of art materials should always been readily available at all times. They are tools that can be utilized for every subject, not just art class.

It’s important to keep priorities in focus. If one chooses to home-educate, then the education of our children must be a priority. This includes their religious education and the development of their intellect and ability to think for themselves. This comes before: canning and freezing food; laundry; a clean house; shopping trips; visiting the neighbor; etc. Of course these other things are important — but the children and their education should come first. Assigning workbook pages for the children so that the parent has time to wash windows or clean the oven does not create a wholesome and productive school environment. Children become bored to tears and homeschooling can become a struggle with this approach. Instead, plan work into the daily routine, so the children work with the parent in establishing a tidy home structure. Make this process a part of learning. Then, continue to develop other kinds of learning events as a family team. Although it is important for a child to learn to work independently, busy work is not the key.

Lessons learned while creating, building, analyzing, and applying concepts are best absorbed and retained by children. A unit study approach that is developed by the parent teacher around the interests of the children being taught is interesting and grasped well by them. It is the role of the teacher parent to create lessons and learning experiences that spark the interest in the children being taught. A bored child does not learn well. It is the parents role to provide experiences that facilitate growth, learning, and interest in any subject. Mastery will result effortlessly if this principle is applied.

Developing an educational philosophy assists the home school family to teach and learn purposefully. Once a philosophy of learning is established, the resources selected to facilitate this learning fall into place. If workbooks do not play a role in promoting your educational philosophy, there is no need to spend money on them! Instead, use your resources to find the tools that promote the philosophy you choose to embrace. Children are a precious natural resource. Thoughtful care should be taken in establishing how we will help them learn.