Lessons in Decision Making

Lessons in Decision Making
Part 1

Teaching children about decision making is a process that can be challenging, yet rewarding as we see them learn to make wise choices about the things in their lives that affect them.   You can introduce this subject by asking them a few questions that will open their minds for discussion.  They are:

1)  What decisions have you made today?  Can you tell what they were?

2)  Do you think that any of them were important decisions?  Why or why not?

3)  Were some of them easy choices?  Difficult ones?  What made them easy or hard?

By creating a list of possible decisions that your child might make, discussion is facilitated and they can help decide how a response can have effects that can make a difference.  Here are some examples:

Decision:  to by a yellow balloon or a purple one

Does the answer to this decision have a consequence that can last a short time?  or a lifetime?

Who is affected?  Me, others, or both?

Decision:  to wear a blue sweater or a green one

Does the answer to this decision have a consequence that can last a short time?  or a lifetime?

Who is affected?  Me, others, or both?

Decision:  to drive my bike (or car) recklessly or carefully

Does the answer to this decision have a consequence that can last a short time?  or a lifetime?

Who is affected?  Me, others, or both?

By responding to these questions, children can determine that some choices in the decision making process are more important than others.  Take this time to talk with your children about some of the specific decisions they have made recently.  Then, have them think of at least one specific example for each of the decision making processes below:

1)  a slow, thoughtful, deliberate decision

Example:  Sally took an hour looking at every Father's Day card in two stores before deciding which one was exactly right for her special Dad.

2)  a snap decision, made with almost no thought at all

Example:  Luke accidentally bumped into Mark on the playground during recess and knocked him down.  Instantly Mark was shouting angry insults at Luke.  Then he deliberately pushed Luke backwards so that he fell to the ground.

3)  a default decision made simply by remaining undecided until it is too late to act

Example:  Linda couldn't decide whether she wanted to get dressed up to go shopping with Mother or go with Julie's family to the park across town.  She was undecided for so long that Julie's family left without her and it was too late for her to get dressed up to go with Mother.  She had to stay home with her younger brother and a babysitter.

Discussion points:  Explore the differences between natural consequences and imposed penalties.  Sometimes parents protect very young children from dangerous natural consequences by threats of less severe imposed penalty simply because children can understand them better.  For example, a child might not understand the dire consequences of running into the path of an oncoming car, but they might understand and respect an imposed penalty like having a privilege taken away.  

God has children of all ages, and the Bible speaks to us all.  Sometimes God threatens us with punishment, but He wants us to grow up enough to understand the reasons behind His advice.  His rules are to protect us from dangerous natural consequences.  His advice makes good sense if we will just look for the evidence.  God wants us to obey because we agree with Him, not because we are afraid of Him.