Tuesday, July 30, 2013
I have always appreciated Dr. Kay Kuzma's string theory for promoting obedience and good behavior in children. Here it is:
"Children are like strings; they tend to resist when they feel pushed or forced into doing something. Once they start to resist, the tendency of most parents it to push them all the more, to threaten, to manipulate, to force, and to punish. And the consequence is, the more you push, the more powerless the child feels, and therefore more rebellious."
"There may be times you think pushing or forcing a child results in compliance. But in too many cases it's like the little boy whose dad told him to sit down in church. When the boy kept jumping up, his dad physically pushed the kid into his seat with the command 'I said to sit down!' The little boy sat there, but a few minutes later he could be heart muttering, 'I may be sitting on the outside, but I'm standing on the inside!'"
"Outward compliance accomplished by force doesn't necessarily mean inner compliance, and sooner or later inner defiance causes outward defiance!"
"The key to diminishing a child's stubborn resistance is to remember just how much children and strings are alike. If you push them in the direction you want them to go, they won't do it."
Kay Kuzma, Easy Obedience
Give it a try! Use the string strategy and don't push. Pull them along by encouraging words instead!